Cyborg Cat and the Night Spider Read online

  Contents

  Title Page

  1. Boing-Boing Leopards and Bum-Bum Bees

  2. An Alarming Incident

  3. From Bad to Better to Worse

  4. A House Full of Donkeys

  5. Things Get Wheely Wheely Bad

  6. Sweats, Stumbles and Smells

  7. Collision Course

  8. Mint Polio

  9. Let’s Roll

  10. Staking Out a Spider

  11. CHHHAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGE!!

  12. Home Not-So-Sweet Home

  13. Walking is Overrated

  14. A Surprisingly Early Start

  15. Things Get VERY Chairy

  16. Ta-Ra, Tarantula

  About the Author

  Copyright

  1

  Boing-Boing Leopards and Bum-Bum Bees

  “WHAT a save!”

  “Incredible!”

  “Cyborg Cat is taking his game to superhuman levels! How does he do it?”

  My goalkeeping that day was pretty good, if I do say so myself. The Parsons Road Gang was playing football after school. I was in goal against Dexter, Melody, Shed and Brian, and I’d saved just about every one of their shots. Maybe it was because I was in a really good mood – we’d just found out that we were going on a school trip to a safari park. Or perhaps my cyborg skills were growing. Either way, I was on blistering form.

  “Your super-cyborg leg was practically glowing when you made that last save,” Dexter shouted, wide-eyed and out of breath.

  “I’m telling you, the caliper is the source of his powers,” Brian said seriously.

  The gang looked in awe at the metal scaffolding surrounding my left leg. I’d contracted polio in Nigeria when I was little, which made my leg weak, so it was there to help me walk. But it had earned me the nickname Cyborg Cat amongst my friends because I could do cool moves no one ever expected. The element of surprise was my secret weapon on the football pitch.

  “Er, guys!” I said, feeling a little awkward. “I’m still here, you know. I can actually hear what you’re saying.”

  “Sorry, Ade, but we’re never going to score against you today,” said Shed. “I reckon even a team of animals from the safari park wouldn’t be able to get a goal past the Cyborg Cat.”

  That got me thinking.

  What a pass by Lenny Lion, straight to Eric Elephant, who controls the ball and back-heels it to Terry Tiger. Terry beats one beast, beats two, beats a third and sends in a beautiful cross. Geoffrey Giraffe out-jumps the defenders and heads it perfectly … it must be a goal, surely … but no! Cyborg Cat launches himself through the air, stretches out and somehow tips the ball over the bar. How did he do that? He must have super-powers!

  Dexter was talking as I came out of my daydream. “I’ve never been to a safari park before, it’s going to be amazing!” he said excitedly. Melody picked up the ball and we all started heading back to Parsons Road.

  “Yeah, I can’t wait! This could be the Parsons Road Gang’s greatest adventure ever,” chipped in Brian. “I’m going to research all the animals and make notes on them, with drawings, diagrams, charts and everything.”

  I looked at Shed and shook my head. Sometimes it seemed as if Brian was more interested in making the notes than the actual thing he was making notes about.

  “I really hope we see the Equus quagga,” Brian went on, seemingly in a world of his own. “And the odd-toed ungulate from the well-known Rhinocerotidae family. And I definitely reckon we’ll see the ferocious Panthera leo.”

  Everyone looked at Brian strangely.

  “You’re speaking Bri-brainium again,” Melody said, with a sigh.

  This was the name Melody had given to the language Brian spoke when he got super-excited about something.

  “I think it’s Latin, Melody,” I said. “At least that’s what my dad said, when he heard it.”

  “I know Latin,” Dexter replied confidently. “My cousin used to live there, it’s the stop after Stratford on the Central Line.”

  “That’s Leyton, Dex!” I replied, trying not to laugh.

  Brian gave Melody a look, then turned to the rest of us, shaking his head. “I was talking about the animals in the safari park. Equus quagga is also known as the zebra, Rhinocerotidae is the rhino, and Panthera leo is the lion.”

  “OHHHH! Well, obvs!” shouted Dexter. “Why didn’t you just say that in the first place? I can do all of them.”

  He dropped onto all-fours and gave us his best impressions of a zebra, rhino and lion, as well as a giraffe and a warthog. Apparently. They all just seemed to involve crawling and grunting, but he did look funny doing it.

  Brian wasn’t impressed.

  “Your warthog is exactly the same as your giraffe,” he said. “Which is exactly the same as your zebra, lion and rhino.”

  “No, it isn’t,” objected Dexter, demonstrating again for Brian’s benefit.

  “Afraid it is, Dex,” said Shed. “Hey, Ade, tell Dexter the difference between a warthog and a giraffe.”

  Why would Shed think I knew? I looked at him and made a face that I hoped said, Eh? What on earth are you talking about, mate?

  Shed got it and replied, “Well, you must be an expert because you’ll have seen them all in Africa when you lived there, Ade.”

  “Yeah,” said Brian. “He’s got a point. You probably know loads of cool stuff that I could add to my research.”

  I looked at my friends. They were the best mates anyone could ever have, but sometimes they could be really dense. I mean, really dense. Even Brian. So much so that I was going to tell them that I was hardly an expert and I knew as much about animals as they all did about flower arranging, when I stopped. I grinned to myself. This was the perfect opportunity for a wind-up.

  “I am an expert, in fact,” I said, holding my head up high and trying to look as expertly expert as I could. “My village in Nigeria was always full of animals. There were two-headed emus and giant spotted flying camels all over the place. They were practically my pets.”

  By the time I’d finished describing these mystical beasts, I was in full David Attenborough mode.

  Dexter’s eyes were as big as snooker balls, and his mouth had opened so wide in amazement at the thought of these incredible animals that I’m sure I caught a glimpse of the gooey Wagon Wheel he’d scoffed for lunch. I desperately tried to keep a straight face as I carried on.

  “Oh, and my personal favourite are the bum-bum bees. They’re half bee and half bottom! They feed exclusively on baked beans. You always know when they’re near because of the terrible stench and the sound.”

  “Bum-bum bees?” Dexter said quizzically. “What sound do they make?”

  I leant over in his direction, pursed my lips together and Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff! I blew a large raspberry in his ear.

  “They’re basically like a swarm of giant flying farts,” I said, when I was all raspberried out. “Just a whiff of their odour is enough to kill a fully grown human!”

  Brian and Melody obviously weren’t fooled, and Shed shook his head with amusement, but Dexter bought it hook, line and sinker.

  “Two-headed emus, giant spotted flying camels and bum-bum bees? I can’t wait to see them!” he shouted.

  Brian and Shed fell about laughing. Even Melody was giggling.

  “What? What is it?”

  “Dex,” I said. “If you ever see a bum-bum bee or a giant flying camel I’m taking you straight to the doctor.”

  Dexter looked cross when he realized I’d been teasing him. “Yeah, well, what if I see a night spider?” he said defiantly.

  That really wasn’t what I’d expected him to say.

  Dexter was pointing to a wal
l with the coolest graffiti I’d ever seen. We all looked up at it. There was a splash of colourful zig-zags interspersed with googly eyes and sparkly diamonds. At the bottom the artist had signed it: Night Spider. The ‘N’ and the ‘S’ were much bigger and brighter than the other letters so they really stood out.

  “Wow, cool,” said Melody.

  “Amazing,” I agreed. “I wonder who this Night Spider is?”

  My question was greeted by silence. The gang just stared at the wall, blown away by the Night Spider’s work. But there was something about the graffiti that made me feel weird and uneasy. I looked at the others. They were all acting normally, pointing out their favourite bits to each other, but something strange was happening to me. Suddenly I could feel my caliper begin to vibrate.

  “What’s happening?” I muttered under my breath.

  The rest of the gang didn’t seem to notice. I looked back at the graffiti and the colours started swirling around me like a rainbow.

  SCHWOOOOM!

  I gasped as I felt myself being sucked into the bright, spray-painted swirls.

  No way! I thought, my mind struggling to understand what was happening. I was floating through the air, with unfamiliar images all around me. Is this real? I wondered.

  Then I heard a strange shuffling sound.

  “Hello, Cyborg Cat,” a low whispery voice said.

  I spun in the air like an astronaut floating in outer space, searching for who was speaking.

  Who said that? Why did they call me Cyborg Cat?

  My caliper began to glow and vibrate even more than before as I felt myself getting drawn deeper and deeper into the graffiti. The colours became more intense, as if I was melting into them.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” said the voice.

  “Where am I?” I asked. “What is this world?”

  But instead of an answer from the voice I heard something else …

  “Ade! Are you okay? Are you okay, Ade?”

  This voice sounded distant, but familiar. It took me a few seconds to recognise it.

  “Oi, you sausage, what are you doing?”

  It was Melody. Her stern but friendly question had released me from the grip of the graffiti. My brain quickly jumped back to reality and I let out a loud sigh of relief.

  “What’s going on, Ade? You looked like you were dreaming.”

  Melody was right. Something strange had happened to me. Cold sweat dripped down my back. I realised I was shaking.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, Ade?” Shed asked, giving me a concerned look.

  “Didn’t you guys see that? Didn’t you hear the voice?”

  “What voice?” they all replied in unison.

  I stared back at the gang, totally confused. Was I the only one who had gone inside the graffiti and heard things?

  “The voice of the NIGHT SPIDER!” I shouted.

  “AHH! I get it,” Dexter exclaimed. “Did the Night Spider have a tail, twelve legs and eyes the size of snooker balls?” He looked at Melody, Brian and Shed with a satisfied smirk on his face.

  “Apart from the tail and the four extra legs that’s probably a pretty good description, Dex,” I said seriously. “But I didn’t see it. I just heard it.”

  “You heard the Night Spider talking?” replied Melody, staring at me like I’d lost my mind. “You do have a vivid imagination, Ade.”

  Shed put one of his big meaty arms around my shoulders.

  “Come on, you lot, all this Night Spider talk is freaking me out,” he said, trying to change the subject. “Let’s get home.”

  I sighed. Maybe Melody was right and it was just my imagination.

  “Well, I believe you, Ade,” Dexter said as we got closer to home. “What if the Night Spider is a superhero, like you’re the Cyborg Cat? The two of you could team up and fight evil villains.”

  “Well,” said Shed. “I’d rather be a cyborg cat than a night spider. No one can leap through the air and make great saves like you, Ade, when you’re in super-cyborg mode.”

  “Hey,” said Brian, “I wonder if there’ll be a cyborg cat at the safari park?”

  “No chance,” said Shed. “Ade’s the one and only Cyborg Cat.”

  If only they believed me about what had happened with the wall. Maybe Cyborg Cat wasn’t just a nickname after all? But I decided I’d better not mention it again. I didn’t want them to think I was weird.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Lions are rubbish goalkeepers.”

  “So if Cyborg Cat isn’t a lion, what is he?” said Brian. “‘Cause I think he’s a jaguar.”

  “Nah,” said Melody. “Cyborg Cat is definitely a panther.”

  “You’re both wrong,” I told them assertively. “When I’m Cyborg Cat I’m a boing-boing leopard, that’s one with springs in its feet, so it bounces everywhere. There were loads in Africa.”

  “Wow, I can’t wait to see …” Dexter stopped. This time he realised I was joking, but we all fell about laughing again anyway.

  After saying goodbye to Melody, who lived on a different street, we continued talking about the trip and messing about all the way to Parsons Road. We were just tiptoeing past Mr Collins’ house, so as not to wake King, his large and very excitable German Shepherd, when we heard a familiar voice.

  “Hey, you lot – catch!”

  We looked up to see Salim hurtling past in his wheelchair, having just lobbed a basketball in our direction.

  “Incoming!” shouted Brian.

  “I’ve got it!” I yelled.

  I lunged forward to catch the ball just before it hit Shed’s head. Then I hurled it straight back to Salim, who caught it perfectly on the move and swung back round to face us.

  “Nice throw, Ade,” he said. “You been practising?”

  “Nah, just got the gift, haven’t I?” I replied, grinning, and opening my front door. “See you tomorrow, guys.”

  2

  An Alarming Incident

  “MUM, do you remember the colobus monkeys that used to play near Gran Gran’s house?” I asked, as I shovelled cereal into my mouth at breakfast the next morning.

  “Of course I do, Doyin,” said Mum. “Why are you asking that?”

  Mum and Dad always call me by the other half of my full name, Adedoyin. But I prefer Ade, it seems to fit in better in England, somehow.

  “Brian, Shed and Dexter think I must be an animal expert because I lived in Africa.”

  “I see,” said Mum. “Well, what else do you remember about Gran Gran’s?”

  I stopped mid-shovel, a large pile of cornflakes hovering just in front of my face, and thought for a moment.

  “I remember me and Olumide, Femi, Neeke and Toyin would try to creep really slowly up to the trees to get a better look at the monkeys, but just as we got close Toyin would shout, ‘Monkey!’ in her high-pitched voice and scare them away.” It used to drive us crazy, but Toyin was the youngest of my cousins, and she was only four, I suppose.

  Mum smiled. I could tell she was thinking about it as well.

  “And I can remember Gran Gran hollering our names and then we’d know it was time for lunch,” I went on. “She’d make all our favourites – jollof rice, fried plaintain, moi moi. I can smell it now, it was delicious!”

  “It was,” said Mum, and for a moment she seemed to drift away, as if she was back in Nigeria herself. I knew Mum missed Gran Gran as much as I did. Even though we were settling in on Parsons Road, Mum certainly hadn’t forgotten her family.

  “Ehh, hehh!” she said suddenly in her strong Nigerian accent, snapping out of it. “So yes, there were some animals like the colobus monkeys, but not all over the place and certainly not in Lagos where we lived. So I’m not sure you could really say you’re an animal expert, Doyin! Now finish your breakfast and get ready for school.” Ten minutes later I was hurrying up Parsons Road. We were late and I was struggling to keep up with the boys. My leg had been hurting all morning and the caliper felt heavier than usual.

  Shed looked worried. H
e could see I wasn’t my normal energetic self.

  “Do you want me to help you?” he asked sympathetically.

  “No!” I snapped angrily.

  As soon as I said it I felt bad. I knew he was only trying to help, but I didn’t want to show any weakness, not even in front of my friends. After all, I was the Cyborg Cat. Shed stared at the ground, looking slightly embarrassed, and slumped off.

  “Is it your polio again?” Dexter asked, looking me up and down as I limped on.

  Trust Dexter to get straight to the point.

  Mum said I was about fifteen months old when I caught polio. My temperature was so high I almost died and I was rushed to hospital and put in intensive care. The next morning, when I woke up, the doctors told Mum and Dad the disease had destroyed all the muscles in my left leg so I would have to wear a caliper. It’s a set of iron rods that go down each side of my leg, before slotting into holes in the sides of my hospital boot. The caliper replaces the muscles that I don’t have and helps me to put weight on my leg so I can walk. I only take it off when I go to bed. When I was younger I used to hate wearing it, because it made me walk with a limp. But now I’m the Cyborg Cat – my caliper gives me strength!

  “Nah, I’m okay, Dex,” I replied quickly. “I’m just a bit knackered. I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about the school trip.”

  “Yeah, it’s going to be so cool!” Dex answered, satisfied that I was okay.

  We caught up with Shed and Brian, still chatting about the safari park trip, but soon it was mainly Brian doing the talking. He’d started his research and was telling us about the feeding habits of warthogs and how they kneel down to eat. To be honest, it was a bit like we were at school already, so I was pretty relieved when we turned a corner and saw something that stopped Brian in his tracks.

  “Wow, look at this!” shouted Dexter. “It’s even better than the other one.”

  He was right about that. In front of us was more spectacular Night Spider graffiti. This one was an incredible scene of spiders and insects, all surfing on a huge wave. At the bottom once again was the Night Spider’s tag.