Ade's Amazing Ade-ventures Read online

  Ade dropped the other records and as quickly as he could, he climbed the stairs back to his room. He just caught his dad shouting his name as he closed the door.

  “Adedoyin Olayiwola Adepitan!”

  * * *

  Third time lucky, right? Ade thought as he stood on the landing and heard his parents go out into the garden to put out chairs. His next plan was so simple he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of it to begin with.

  If no one can find the house, there won’t be a party, Ade said to himself. All I need to do is get rid of the door number.

  He threw his dad’s tool belt over his shoulder and crept down the stairs. Ade gently flicked the latch and went outside. There, by the side of the door, was the number Four. All he had to do was take it off the wall and no one would know where number Four Parsons Road was. Job done.

  Ade plucked a screwdriver from the belt. It had a flat head, and the screws attaching the number to the wall had a cross in them, but he didn’t think that would be a problem. A screwdriver is a screwdriver.

  He could just about reach the top screw. He stretched up and put the bright red screwdriver in and turned.

  Nothing.

  He grabbed the screwdriver with both hands and really turned.

  Nothing.

  He jiggled the screwdriver this way and that to try to loosen the screw.

  Nothing.

  He got the green hammer out of the belt and hammered the screwdriver in as much as he could, and then turned it.

  Nothing.

  Ade trudged back up to his room, undid the straps on his caliper, crawled under the covers of his bed and curled up into a ball. That was plan number four. Maybe everyone will forget about me, he thought. Maybe I’m a superhero who can make myself disappear. Ade bit his lip. He’d forgotten. Superheroes didn’t look like him.

  CHAPTER 4

  THE PARTY

  “DOYIN! DOYIN! Come down. Everyone wants to see you.”

  Ade didn’t know how many hours he’d spent sulking beneath his sheets before the party had started. Now it had begun, it was clear this party was probably going to be the loudest that Parsons Road had ever seen.

  Uncle Sobanjo had been the first to arrive with his speakers and amplifier, and before long Ade heard the familiar rhythmic drums, melodic guitar and hypnotic vocals of King Sunny Ade, one of his dad’s favourite artists. Soon, the whole house seemed to be dancing to the rhythm.

  “Now, Doyin!” Mum yelled.

  Uh-oh. What if she comes up and carries me down? Ade frowned. What if the boys from the street see?

  He had no choice. Taking a deep breath, he pulled the sheets back and got himself ready to go downstairs. Time to face the music. Slowly, he buckled the straps of his caliper around his left thigh and then his knee. Then he put on his sokoto and agbada, which were white with blue, orange and red swirly patterns dotted all over them, and took one last look at himself in the mirror.

  The iron rods from his caliper were showing. They ended in a tiny ‘L’ shape and slotted into holes in the heel of his hospital boot on his left leg. Ade covered them as best as he could, but it wasn’t much good. It was obvious that he was wearing something strange on his leg; there was just no hiding it.

  He took a deep breath and headed down the stairs and into the hallway. The party was a sea of people flowing through his house.

  Uncles, aunties, cousins and family friends, all with huge smiles on their faces, swooped down on Ade. Their warm hugs and compliments about how nice he looked relaxed him a little but Ade was still scanning his surroundings. Where are the boys that Mum invited? he asked himself.

  Ade grinned, the knots in his stomach suddenly gone. They’re not coming! Of course they’re not! He grabbed some food and went into the front room.

  Munching on a chicken drumstick, he watched one of his cousins dancing. It looked like fun, so he got up to join her. Then Ade saw them through the window: the three boys he’d seen playing football on Parsons Road. They were standing right in front of his house. There were two teenagers with them, a stocky boy and a tall girl, who he didn’t recognise.

  As Ade stared at them, the girl suddenly started laughing and pointed down the street. Ade felt his chest tighten. Walking towards his house, Ade saw his auntie and uncle, Mr and Mrs Okolie. They looked fantastic in their traditional Nigerian clothes, but Ade realised that the older boy and girl didn’t see that.

  The three younger boys didn’t join in with the laughter. They just looked at their feet.

  As Ade’s uncle and aunt got closer, the older boy began making grunting noises and scratching under his armpits. Then he started hopping up and down from one foot to the other. The girl thought this was really funny and laughed even harder.

  “Go home monkeys!” she shouted in between fits of giggles. “Ooo-ooo-ooo.”

  Ade’s heart started pounding hard. In his mind, he was back in Queen’s Market facing those horrible men. The same thing seemed to be happening again, only this time it was on his street, in the place where his family had made their home.

  Ade shook his head. Why are there so many angry people in this country? His hands curled into fists. Maybe I’ll get angry as well. He marched to the front door and yanked it open just as his aunt and uncle arrived.

  Uncle had his arms around his wife. It was as if he were trying to protect her from the teenagers’ words. Ade saw the sadness on his auntie’s face, but as soon as she saw Ade her eyes lit up.

  “This is the young man we’ve come to see.” She gave him a huge hug. “Look how much you’ve grown.”

  Uncle smiled and shook Ade’s hand. “How are you?” he asked.

  “I’m fine, Uncle,” said Ade, looking down the path at the kids standing outside the front garden. He could see that the girl and the boy were still chuckling. “Please come in. Mum and Dad can’t wait to see you.”

  Ade’s aunt and uncle smiled and made their way into the house.

  Ade stared at the kids. Fear fought with anger. Five against one were not good odds if things turned nasty. Ade gritted his teeth and strode to the front gate, not caring that he was wearing Nigerian clothes and that everyone could see his caliper.

  “What do you want?” the tall girl snarled as Ade approached.

  “Yeah. Go back to your monkeys’ tea party, Peg Leg!” the older boy shouted.

  “Why don’t you shut your stupid fat mouth!” Ade’s anger made his voice much louder than even he expected and once he started, he couldn’t stop. “I’ve seen real monkeys and they’re amazing and intelligent creatures, unlike you and your stupid friends!”

  There was a stunned silence. The boy’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. His hands curled into fists as he stared at Ade.

  Ade was shaking. His heart was pounding so hard it felt like it was trying to escape his chest. He’s going to punch me, Ade thought. It’s going to hurt.

  CHAPTER 5

  THE PARSONS ROAD GANG

  The teenager took a step forwards, fist raised, but a voice stopped him.

  “Do you know what the difference is between monkeys and apes?” the voice said. It came from a tall, skinny boy wearing blue-rimmed glasses. He had Afro hair shaped into a box cut, which made him look even taller. He came to stand next to Ade but didn’t wait for an answer to his question and continued as if he were a teacher giving a lesson. “Monkeys have tails and apes don’t, and the whole of the human race evolved from apes, hundreds of thousands of years ago.”

  Ade blinked, unsure quite what to make of this development.

  The teenage boy and the girl frowned.

  “Shut up, Brian,” said the older boy. “You and Peg Leg may be monkeys, but we’re not.”

  The teenage girl nodded. “Come on, let’s go before we’re bored to death. We’ll leave Monkey Boy and Four Eyes to it.”

  The teenagers turned to leave, but the two other boys stayed where they were.

  “Nah, you’re alright, Deano,” said the small boy with bright
ginger hair. “We’re gonna stay right here with Brian.”

  The boy next to him, who was as wide as he was tall, nodded.

  “Fine. Suit yourselves,” Deano replied. “Come on, Sam, I’ve got better things to do than waste my time talking to these mugs!”

  Deano and Sam walked off making monkey sounds as they went.

  Ade narrowed his eyes as he watched them go. He turned to the three boys still stood by his house. Why had they stayed? Do they want trouble? He looked each of them in the eye, daring them to say something. It reminded him of a western he’d watched with his dad. The first person to flinch or back down loses, and it wasn’t going to be him.

  The boy with the blue-rimmed glasses stuck out a welcoming hand. “I’m Brian. I’m the brains around here, but you probably guessed that.”

  Ade shook his hand. “Hi,” he said, trying to make his voice sound deeper. “My name’s Ade.”

  “Don’t listen to Brian, Ade!” shouted the boy with ginger hair. “He only thinks he’s the brains. I’m Dexter Trimmingham the Third. I’ve got the best right foot in East London.” To prove his point, Dexter swung his right foot wildly in Ade’s direction as if he were blasting a football past him.

  “I’m Shezhad,” mumbled the last boy. “But everyone calls me Shed.”

  Ade looked Shed up and down. He really was huge.

  “Sorry about my cousin.” Dexter shuffled from side to side. “Deano’s not always like that, honestly. Sometimes he’s really nice.”

  “Oh yeah, like that time he helped those ants sunbathe by using a magnifying glass.” Brian rolled his eyes.

  Shed chuckled to himself then looked away because everyone had turned to look at him.

  “Shut it, Brian.” Dexter’s face was turning apple red. “You know his family are going through a tough time.”

  Ade decided to change the subject. “Who’s the girl?”

  “Samantha Pringle,” said Dexter. “She’s Deano’s girlfriend. Deano’s only just turned 13, but she’s 14 and she–”

  Dexter broke off as Ade’s mum came rushing out of the house.

  “Are you okay, Doyin?” she said, slightly out of breath. “Your auntie said you came out here on your own.”

  Ade looked at the three boys. They all seemed a little confused and he thought he knew why.

  “My full name’s Adedoyin,” he explained to them. “Some people call me Doyin.”

  “Oh!” they said as one.

  “I’m fine, Mum.” Ade kind of wished she’d go inside. Having just stood up to Deano and Sam on his own, the last thing he wanted the others to think was that he only did it because he knew his mum was coming out to help him.

  Dexter stepped forwards and said, “Hi, Ade’s mum, I’m Dexter Trimmingham the Third, and these are my friends Brian and Shed.”

  “Pleased to meet you all,” Ade’s mum replied. “But what are you doing out here?”

  “Oh, well, you see, you invited us.” Brian pushed his glasses up his nose. “Didn’t you?”

  Ade’s mum laughed. “What I mean is, come inside and have something to eat. We’ve got chicken, plantain and jollof rice – it’s only a little spicy.”

  Ade gaped at her. A little bit spicy!? The jollof rice was his cousin’s speciality and Dad called it dragon fuel. The last time Ade had tried some he’d had to sit for two hours with ice cubes in his mouth. What if one of the boys combusted from eating the food? He could see the headlines in the papers: DEATH BY JOLLOF: Three young British boys explode after eating Cousin Remi’s fiery jollof rice!

  Thankfully, Ade’s fears were unfounded. Due largely to the three boys witnessing another of Ade’s cousins in agony after one spoonful of the rice and rushing to the kitchen to drink 15 glasses of water.

  They tucked into the chicken and plantain instead and couldn’t get enough of it.

  “Great party!” all three of the boys said in unison.

  “Thank you,” Ade replied. He’d been so worried about them coming but it was actually okay. Things seem much worse when you’re imagining them, he realised. But when you confront the reality, it’s really not that bad at all.

  “What are those clothes you’re wearing?” Dexter asked.

  That was the sort of question Ade had been dreading earlier in the day, but now he replied proudly, “They’re traditional Nigerian clothes.”

  Dexter looked intrigued. “Where’s Nigeria?” he asked.

  “Well, you take a left after Queen’s Market,” Ade began. “Then head up Green Street and it’s just next to the pie ‘n’ mash shop.”

  Dexter scratched his head, trying to work out if he’d seen this mysterious place called Nigeria.

  Brian laughed. “Nigeria is in West Africa, you silly sausage!”

  Dexter screwed up his eyes. “I knew that, I’m not stupid!” Then, a moment later, he said, “Where’s Africa?”

  This time Shed, Brian and Ade all started laughing.

  Shed pointed to Ade’s leg and the metal rods going into his boot. “So, are you a robot or something?” he asked.

  Ade opened his mouth to explain that he’d had polio and how his caliper supported his left leg so he could walk.

  “Obviously, he’s a robot!” Dexter said first. He started making strange mechanical noises and walking stiffly around the corridor with his arms rigid by his sides.

  Shed chuckled as Dexter pretended he was a malfunctioning robot and bumped into the wall.

  “WHO PUT THIS HERE? DESTROY, DESTROY!” Dexter sounded just like a dalek from Doctor Who.

  Brian put down his plate of food. “He’s not a robot, he’s a cyborg!”

  “Am I?” Ade questioned.

  “Yeah, a cyborg is a human with mechanical enhancements that give them super-strength,” Brian said knowingly.

  “AWESOME!” said Dexter.

  “Super-strength,” Ade said. “Sounds good to me.”

  “That means you can play football, right?” Shed asked.

  “Of course I can!” Then he turned to Dexter and said cheekily, “I’ve got the best left foot in East London.”

  Shed nudged Brian and gave him a look as if he wanted him to say something. But before Brian could say a word, Dexter stepped forwards and announced, “We’re the Parsons Road Gang. We don’t cause trouble, we just love playing football and we could do with a player with super-cyborg-strength. Wanna join our team?”

  Ade felt tingly with happiness but told himself to be cool. “Yeah, I’ll join your team.”

  “Great,” said Brian. “We’ll call for you tomorrow morning. We can work on our skills.”

  “Hey, why are we waiting till tomorrow to play football?” Ade asked. “Let’s play in my garden.”

  “What, now?” asked Brian.

  “Yes,” Ade said. “Right now.”

  CHAPTER 6

  SUPER-STRENGTH

  The great thing about football is that if you’ve got a ball you don’t really need much else. In fact, sometimes you don’t even need a ball. Ade had played many matches with a scrunched-up piece of paper and even a plastic cup.

  Thankfully, though, this time Ade did have a ball. His claret-and-blue one was already outside in the small back garden. His dad had bought it for him from a shop in Upton Park.

  “Whoa! Is that a West Ham football?” Brian’s eyes were wide.

  “It’s a real-life, actual Mitre Pro 2000!” Dexter charged forwards, the ball a magnet that couldn’t be resisted.

  Ade, Shed and Dexter chased after him. Ade knew he wasn’t as quick as his new friends. His heavy caliper slowed him down and the iron rods meant he couldn’t bend his left leg either, which meant he didn’t move in the same way as the others. Ade shrugged. It’s never stopped me before, he thought. And it won’t stop me now.

  As the game went on, Ade noticed Shed looking at him. He was watching Ade’s heavy limp and how he favoured his right side because he had more strength there.

  He doesn’t think I can keep up. Ade pushed away his a
nnoyance, but when Shed passed the ball to him with the feeblest cross ever, Ade knew he had to say something. People don’t understand things they haven’t seen before, he reminded himself. To his friends and family in Nigeria he was just plain old Ade. But Shed, Brian and Dexter had never seen anybody like him. Aside from his leg, he also dressed differently and had a strange accent.

  As the ball approached, Ade knew this would be the first of many tests. All he really wanted was to be like everybody else and fit in, but to do that he would have to prove he wasn’t any different from the other kids. I have to show them.

  He maneuvered himself so the ball came towards his strong right foot. Then he blasted it as hard as he could towards Dexter. As the ball flew towards him like an arrow, Dexter just had time to open his mouth in amazement before it hit him on the forehead and then spun off in the air.

  “TIIIMBEEER,” Brian yelled.

  Dexter fell to the ground with his arms open wide.

  “Sorry, mate!” Ade yelled as the rest of the boys cracked up.

  They finally managed to stop laughing but it was hard because Dexter was now pretending to be dazed and walking around in dizzy circles.

  Shed shook his head. “Amazing shot.”

  Brian came over and put his arm around Ade’s shoulders. He looked at Shed and Dexter and said, “I told you he had super-strength.” He said ‘super-strength’ slowly and quietly as if it was their secret.

  “Ah! shut up!” Ade said, trying to hide his smile. “Come on, let’s play football.”

  Shed and Ade looked at each other. Then they both raced towards the ball, which was at the far end of the garden. Shed got to it first. He tried to dribble past Ade, but Ade called on his super-strength and slid into him with a crunching tackle.

  They both fell to the ground in a heap. Brian and Dexter jumped on top of them in a classic bundle. Ade ended up underneath Shed and was laughing so hard it took him a minute to realise that someone was shouting his name.